wouldntbetonit | 1st Order [Voice]

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1st Order [Voice]

what in the --

[Give him a moment. He just figured out how to use this monstrosity.]

I'm -- ah -- not sure if anybody is listening to this. This is a message to Luceti. [He pronounced it wrong. Whichever way you pronounce it, Lucetians, he did it wrong. Judge him and his lack of talent with foreign words.]

There is a ship in port, The Britannia. Quite a beauty, I have to commend Mr Kennedy for the design of her. Unfortunately she's come to be rather understaffed, so if there are any men who are interesting in crewing her....I'm sure her captain would appreciate it greatly.

That is all...back to your business.

[If William Bush could have it his way, he'd start a press-gang right here, right now. But that required a navy and men to help. So asking nicely would have to do.]

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[Oh, son, you're in for a world of hurt when other residents get this message...]

Think I already made arrangements with Kennedy to help him out.

[There is ever the slightest emphasis on that 'him'.]

...Might want to be willing to broaden your criteria a little. Some of the ladies are better trained for the ship than the men are.

[And it will be glorious.

Of course, Bush scoffs. Scoffs.]

Better trained?

[...Yeah he's not going to be making friends any time soon.]

[Ohoho, normally she wouldn't say a word, but...]

Men only, huh.

Oh, boy -- I really won't envy you when the replies start rolling in. Not that I care. [ time some gentle competition, right? ] I'm certainly not interested in crewing for your cute little vessel. But...hah, other people?

They're gonna tear you a new one. Enjoy it. Think of it like hazing.

[Be civil, leave the face-eating to other people, be the better person...]

If you would like, I can leave a notice on the calendar in the Welcome Center, give it more long-term exposure.

Edited 2012-01-22 13:25 (UTC)

Ha! Haahahaha! Men! Can't have a woman aboard, eh? They're frightful bad luck!

[Well then Mister Bush, have one of said ships Midshipmen linefacing at you and consider yourself lucky that she's not marching over there to tell you a thing or two about gender equality.]

[Oh shit, not Nami. He really wants her. Damage control! DAMAGE CONTROL!]

Mr. Bush was speaking habitually in terms of mankind, of course. Over half the current crew is made up of women, you'll understand, so of course he didn't mean men only.

[...don't rise to the bait, don't rise to the bait, don't rise to the...

...damn it. Ginia might not need him to defend her honor, but it's not an easy habit to break.]

And just what do you propose to do about the women with nautical experience currently staffing the thing?

[It does not matter where you are, William. Kennedy is going to find you, and he is going to be displeased with you. In the house, at the bar, wherever. When he appears, he is going to be both narrow-eyed and calm.]

I suppose you don't care to explain yourself.

[You know what? Forget being above this sort of thing, because she's not. Amelia is nursing the worst hangover of her life, coming off remembering the worst day of her life, and absolutely not putting up with crap like this. Not that she's actually involved with the crew. In truth, she's never seen the ship, or even the ocean.

It's the principle of the thing.]

Looks like there really are idiots on every world. And just when I was starting to have a little hope for men.

Better trained. [Said with the patience of an adult talking to a child.]

There aren't many worlds represented by the population here that still holds to the superstition that women are bad luck. And I'd rather have a well-trained lady on my crew than someone who can't tell his ass from the anchor.

So, I'm out, is it?

[Damn. She'd avoid it, but... being on the ship. Well, might as well let him have a few wise words, because he is really getting his neck deep in danger. Luceti has some rather deadly ladies, after all.]

Oh? So your ship can be a woman, but have no lady friends for herself? That hardly seems fair. But I suppose I can spare a moment to write you and Captain Jack Sparrow [huehuheue] down as people to not listen to while I'm on board the ship.

I'm sure the other women on the crew are likely to do the same.

...

Or perhaps give you mean-spirited names or glares. Either/or.

Edited (repetition hello) 2012-01-23 04:06 (UTC)

No! No, it doesn't mean that at all. You're on the crew, of course! Mister Bush was speaking of the general mankind, Miss!

[Putting out fires, yay.]

[Bush almost starts to make the point that having women aboard distracts men and that is not a superstition. However....the fact that so far, there don't seem to be men crewing the vessel so that point is rendered moot. Legs to stand on: one.]

It's not done. If a lady can tell me one part of a ship from another than by God I'll be impressed. I've yet to meet a-one.

[That's your own fault for being distracted, sir.]

Might want to ask them, then, before making your announcement. Guarantee you'll be impressed. Provided they haven't already decided you're not worth talking to.

Meanwhile, I want to know your qualifications, since Kennedy made no mention of you when we discussed crew.

Not my vessel, ma'am. [He feels the need to make that a point.]

And they needn't be so offended. If I may be frank, ma'am.

[Oh he must have some good reasons.]

Dunno, that seemed pretty decided to me.

[SNORT]

[He is shocked...for lack of a better word, that someone is being civil. He'd like to know whos toes he stepped on here. (isn't it sad.)]

...Thank you ma'am.

Newsflash? They're not gonna not be offended just 'cause you tell them not to be. You need something a little more convincing than that.

[AUGH William you make things difficult.]

You may be glad that Mr. Bush lacks any power whatever to tell anyone on the current crew that they cannot serve. It's not worth thinking about at all. The captain himself has welcomed you aboard.

[The biggest line-face there ever was, Sparrow. It's been known to make babies cry.]

I don't think it's particularly funny, sir.

[Offended thy name is William Bush!]

First Lieutenant William Bush of His Majesty's Ship Hotspur.

[And - because this is now a game of qualification chicken:]

And might I ask for your qualifications?

[Noting his emphasis - and mispronunciations - and giving absolutely no fucks.]

And where will you be taking that lovely ship of yours?

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